It’s Not “Doing Nothing”


I was at a cocktail party with my husband . “You don’t work?,” one woman said with a little bit of pity in her voice, “ I could never stay at home and do nothing.” Do nothing? Really? I had to giggle. This woman obviously didn’t know my life. Instead of coming back with a witty retort, however, I just smiled. Sometimes it’s best just to say nothing at all and let our lives demonstrate instead.

Despite the fact we are committed to homemaking and raising our children, it can be easy to devalue what we do every day in the heart of the home because the world doesn’t see much of it. Keeping a home and raising children is a quiet task, a gentle undertaking, but don’t let that fool you into believing that what you do isn’t important, or that it doesn’t have profound impact, not only on your immediate family and community, but also eventually on society as a whole. Indeed, as the saying goes, “the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.”  Let’s take a peek at why what you do matters.

Every book you read helps your child’s brain development. Studies show time and time again that neurons develop in early on in your child’s brain, and that conversation and active reading helps stimulate neuron growth. Reading helps a child decode symbols- and realize that those little squiggles and lines on a page have sounds…and meaning, and are a way to express ideas. According to one source, regularly spending time with a child reading, explaining, joking and questioning physically alters the way the child’s brain is wired, and that those effects are permanent. Further, there are “learning windows” for certain skills. Capture those windows and the child is set up for optimal learning his whole life. Preschool years are crucial.  When you read to your child, you affect his entire future.

What’s more, reading to your child provides an opportunity for emotional connection.  Every snuggle you share on the sofa with your little one while looking at the pages of a book helps him grow in security and comfort. Hearing your unrushed, soothing voice engaging him in a topic of interest (all the better if pictures are included!) models something valuable that he will likely pass on to his own children, your grandchildren some day. You are participating in a cycle of unrushed love. You are cementing your relationship with your child for life.  

Can you not be a full- time homemaker and read to your children and reap the benefits? Certainly. But it is obviously easier to make the time daily to read when you are home and available.  Also, I wanted to point out that reading to your child is far from doing “nothing” or simply being an enjoyable activity.

Reading to your child is far from the only beneficial task you undertake as you make your home and raise your family. Every dish you clean, every load of plates you unload from the dishwasher, every room you pick up, every bed you make without complaining and with simple acceptance and dedication to the task shows your child the value of work, of orderliness. Your acceptance of unpleasant tasks sets the stage for your child’s acceptance of inevitable work he too must learn to do. Small things done with great love is the way to be a great Christian. Not all are called to lead armies or demonstrate faith or accomplishments on a public and world-stage. However, everyone can find a path to sanctity in embracing small tasks, doing them well and for the love of God. Little things do matter and children learn that from mothers who make a home joyfully.

This short post cannot address all the important undertakings accomplished by a full time homemaker. These above are just a couple examples of why what she does matters.

 Let’s not forget that a supporting role is an important role. Look at the construction of a building.

 A gorgeous façade and entryway means nothing if the building isn’t structurally sound. A good solid foundation allows the building to go higher, be stronger, endure inclement weather, and serve its main purpose best. We are the foundation, ladies, for our children, for our families.  We are the cement, the base that allows the “building” to soar, to be strong, and to endure. When we provide good example, organization, spiritual strength and a joyful spirit, we are providing our families with a foundation for being exceptional, doing good and accomplishing God’s will in their lives optimally. We are not “doing nothing”.

Some women have to work. Others choose to work. I’m not addressing that here. What I’m saying is that being a full time homemaker is valuable, worthy and blessed. But you already knew that.

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4 Responses to It’s Not “Doing Nothing”

  1. I giggled, too! Love the cartoon, and everything you had to say. Staying at home is often the DIFFICULT option, not the easy one. I remember when my 2nd child was born and cried for nearly all her waking hours due to an undiscovered health condition – for five.long.months. I remember irrately telling my husband that I WAS going back to work, no matter what he thought! (I thought better of it in a quiet moment when she wasn’t crying!) Dropping her off at day care would have been the “easy” thing to do.

    God heard the cry of my heart during that desperate time, though. I was feeling so torn and conflicted because I felt His calling for me to continue professionally (I am a nurse, and then had the dream to become a professor to teach other nurses) as well as His call, clear as day, that I should stay home with my children. He provided a way I couldn’t have imagined…2 years after this low point I described when I “insisted” I was going back to work, NO MATTER WHAT! – God led me to an online PhD program. I have stayed home the whole time…and studied during naps and after bedtime. I am almost done now and look forward to many productive years teaching at online universities until my children are grown. God allowed me to do both, and I am so thankful. I stay at home, and He is allowing me to blossom professionally and bless many others outside my home as well.

    His love and peace to you today!
    Genevieve Thul

    • Genevieve,
      Thank you for the wonderful comment! I was very touched by your story and it seemed so clear to me as I was reading it how much God cared for you when you totally trusted Him. I have had similar experiences. So wonderful! God’s little “joke” of course is that by giving ‘all’ to Him, He rewarded you immeasurably–in your professional and home life. Hearing your story just made my day! Congratulations on nearly finishing the PhD program and thank you for taking the time to respond — God bless- Theresa

  2. pfmacarthur says:

    Very true. Thank you:)

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